Somebody please explain to me how to deal with this crazy and mighty disease I could name "impossibility of staying in a happy mood after having a very good day when the day is over".
It's tough to admit that I'm not leaving home without my digital camera anymore, but I'm aware that it's in no way possible to "record" your life, or even a single moment of it. All you can do is capture an image that will help you preserve something more easily in your memory and in a more vivid way. But that's all about what you can humanly do.
I guess that's why I'm so supportive when it comes to technological devices, whatever the case: whether it's a brand new digital camera, or a DVD-recorder, or a super-mega-wow "all-in-one" little thingy.
I remember that when I was no more than a little kid and all this stuff we're now used to see around us everywhere was pure fantasy I loved to imagine that there was a little gnome who followed each one of us for our whole life and had the duty to write all of our dialogues and thoughts on a book... the book of our life. And sometimes I stopped doing what I was doing and started to think about my personal little gnomeimagining him writing frantically that I was thinking about him writing what I was thinking, and usually I just got lost in this thought and blabbed it away in a couple of seconds. ... But it was fun!

Later @ work
I want to try to explain this concept more clearly because maybe if I get it out it will stop being so obnoxious.
I was thinking about yesterday while coming here at the library: it's been a very positive day, I felt great, I didn't care about being too skinny, or too pale, or not confident enough… my only concern –if I could use this term- was to enjoy what I was doing, being with the person I wanted to be and getting the best out of those moments together.
So… now I'm in today and I should feel happy because I've had this great day and I will remember it because human beings have this wonderful gift called memories.
But… it's not exactly working that way and that's because my mind focuses on the "it won't ever came back" side, rather than on the "you've lived it, it will always belong to you, be thankful for it" side.
I figured this whole thing has to do with the fact that future means uncertainty, and I've never been good when it comes to make new experiences or meet new people…  basically I have a hard time when there's something new going on.
I always believed that envy and jealousy were the worst feelings you could possibly experience, but I have to add nostalgia to the list because it really is capable of gnawing at your soul.
Beside all of this I've found out that I have a new skin… literally! Probably it has to do with the exanthema and now I'm changing skin as if I was a snake  ... ehm, not exactly something I would have hoped for, to be honest. And now it is paler than ever because basically it has never seen the sun, and this means it's going to be a lot harder to catch a tan now.  But I need the sun, I do!
Now, this week-end will probably be everything but sunny, or at least this is what the weathermen say… we'll see.

Somebody just got me thinking by sending me an e-mail about this post.
Hoarding memories can become dangerous and you risk to end up living in some kind of "museum of your life", making you go crazy as soon as you have to change even the littlest thing in your world.
We have to accept that life goes on, no matter what, and we should find a way to be able to live and appreciate each day, without thinking about what has gone by and what is going to happen.
I watched that movie the other day called "Life or something like it": Angelina Jolie plays this reporter who finds out she's going to die in just a few days and there's this line that goes something like "you have to live each day of your life as if it was the last, because sooner or later one of those days will actually be the last one."
Okay, so now this is my question: can we learn how to free ourselves from this "memories obsession"? And... is it truly a bliss to be able to forget, if it's possible at all?
I don't think I'll ever be able to do that, I'm afraid.