... will post later!

When later means the day after.

Tuesday, 31st 2005 14:57

I've been "fighting" with thoughts, doubts, fears, hopes, illusions and many other entertaining things in these last few days. It's not that big of a news for me actually, but the intensity of the "mind-work" has been quite remarkable.
Basically I went through some critical phases of my life all over again, trying to get the point of this whole "struggle-thing" I'm still undergoing.
Does all this detail-obsession have any sense? Now I know the answer for sure: NO! It's not only a waste of time, but a useless way to ruin your life in almost every single moment.
It's all about points of view: in this very week-end I realized how bad I have lived till now just because I thought everybody was better than me, no matter in which way. Well, I'm starting to believe things are quite different from how I've always thought they was and I can be "not exactly an easy person to get at first sight", but this means that someone needs to have the will to take a second look to understand the way I am and befriend me.
I can't be more specific since I don't want to talk about people who might end up reading this, but this past Saturday has been "enlightening": I listened to someone saying a bunch of things that barely made sense and this person was SO sure that was the one and only absolute truth.  Too bad though that these things this person was claiming with such vehemence were exactly the opposite of what had been till then in their opinion. Coherency: who's this stranger?
So that's why I started thinking: why should I keep on limiting myself from living the way I'd feel to? I'm still afraid of judgment, but I need to get over it and take as a model those who don't give a damn about what others think and just live their life to the fullest, happy and carefree.
That's my goal from now on: to become judgment-independent!

It's always nice to have those around you that don't judge you for your ideas or life-style. Unfortunately..there are more out there in this ole world that have nothing better to do but JUDGE others. Never really cared for that type of person. Anyway...guess what I'm saying is I think you are now well on your way to being "judgement-independant"
~Moonie~

Thanks, Moonie. I truly hope I am doing some progress here... at least I'm trying to be less harsh on myself, which I guess could be a good starting point!

Too true I got faith in ya !!
~Moonie~